Bender, this is Fry's decision… and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.

And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Is that a cooking show? You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?

That could be 'my' beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.

Ummm…to eBay?

Guess again. And until then, I can never die? Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? Negative, bossy meat creature!

  1. I can explain. It's very valuable.
  2. Bender, you risked your life to save me!
  3. Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.

And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!

It's a T. It goes "tuh". It's toe-tappingly tragic! Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! What kind of a father would I be if I said no?

  • I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
  • Professor, make a woman out of me.
  • Bender, quit destroying the universe!

Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. We're also Santa Claus! And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.

OK, if everyone's finished being stupid. And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony?

Our love isn't any different from yours, except it's hotter, because I'm involved. Bender?! You stole the atom. Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.

Hello, little man. I will destroy you! I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?

Why would a robot need to drink? Are you crazy? I can't swallow that. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!

No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own! There, now he's trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.

Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault! Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.

Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused.

Professor, make a woman out of me. Guess again. Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long. So, how 'bout them Knicks? I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn't make sense.

Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head." You lived before you met me?! I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!